Today is the anniversary of my birth. Much like the rest of this chaotic, crazy year, I’ve been busy herding my cat, er kids, and just barely making it to the next appointment. However, I feel I ought to say something to mark the occasion.

First, thanks mom and dad for bringing me into this world, and just as importantly, not taking me out during my trying teenage years. Second, if I’ve learned anything, it’s the older I get, the dumber I was. I expect I’ll look back on this in five or ten years and bless my heart.

For better or worse, this is a bit of the wisdom I’ve accumulated over my 38 years. You may wish to view it as a cautionary tale. Consider these written in electronic pencil, not ink. Ahem:

• It is important to have a plan: plan the work, and work the plan. You waste time, money and brain cells without a plan.
• The best laid plans of mice, men, and me will go horribly, hilariously astray.
• You never have a second chance to make a first impression.
• Except for with me. I’m horrible at remembering people, so you’re likely to have three or four chances.
• We are all carrying similar burdens and cares. The trials and tribulations of life are ties that bind us together.
• Everyone has their own problems and few people really care about yours, for better or worse. (If you find someone who does care about yours, don’t be a jerk. Care about theirs, too.)
• You reap what you sow.
• Sometimes you reap what other people sow. Often you will wonder why so many people are intent are sowing stupidity.
• To every thing there is a season, and the joys and sorrows of each season are unique.
• Seasons of sorrow will seem to last longer than seasons of joy. It’s an illusion. Or not.
• You will not come to the end of your life regretting any sticky kiss a 3 year old gives you.
• But can you just stop touching me for five minutes!
• People recharge in different ways. Some people actually get their energy from being around lots of other people. That’s how God made them.
• Those people are freaks.
• 90% of the things that you think are critical today won’t even register on the radar in 10 years.
• 5% of the things you think are completely insignificant will turn out to be life altering.
• No, there’s no trick for knowing which is which.
• Always have baby wipes.
• No seriously. Always have baby wipes.

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Here’s to another year of learning by experience!