Dana at Principled Discovery to my Captain Underpants suggestion. She posted this link to the Implicit Association Test for Presidential Candidates. The “disclaimer” cracks me up: “If you are unprepared to encounter interpretations that you might find objectionable, please do not proceed further.” Emphasis in the original. I suppose if some confirmed Clinton hater found out he has a crush on Hillary, it might cause a stroke.

I was a little surprised at my results. It actually lined up with how I’ll (probably, maybe) vote, but it doesn’t line up with how I thought I thought of the candidates. (Follow?) It has me liking McCain most, down a chunk (it’s on a line scale) Huckabee, down about the same chunk (a couple of inches) Clinton then Obama right next to Clinton.

I LIKE Obama. He is inspirational and positive, etc. etc. And yes, words matter and being a good orator is a positive thing. Of course, he’s so liberal he’s falling off the edge of the world, so there is no way I’d vote for him. Also, that swooning at the sneeze thing creeped me out. There have been comparisons to the enthusiasm for Reagan, but no self-respecting Republican is going to cheer a sneeze.

I don’t dislike Clinton. I’m not the “anybody but Hillary” type. In fact, I think, foreign policy-wise, she’d be better than Obama because she seems to be by nature cautious. And I think caution is good. I think domestic policy-wise she’d be better because she’ll be easier to thwart precisely because so many on the other side (and some on her own) dislike her.

I LIKE Huckabee (as a personality) better than the free speech squashing McCain. But while I think Huckabee is probably an excellent pastor, I don’t think the qualities that make one a good pastor make one a good president. It’s not a president’s job to make us moral people. The president should enforce laws to promote justice and oversee our defense. But a government is not to scold (or tax, or otherwise coerce) us into “right” behavior. In fact, I think Huckabee could be worse when it comes to nanny law because he would hamper the opposition. Think No Child Left Behind.

This “daddy state” thought is also one of the reasons I oppose Obama and Clinton. Also the socialism and the support for abortion and making sure people with profound disabilities have the right to a speedy death.
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So why McCain? Basically, I think he is least likely to try to impose the federal government into the minutia of daily lives. I think he is the candidate least likely to come up with some grand new federal scheme to make the world a better place. Note: I am not against the world being a better place. I am against the government coercing people into behavior they think would make the world a better place. And other than that pesky free speech issue and the whole grumpy-old-man persona, I don’t dislike McCain.

Yeah, I’m not entirely convinced. I really wanted to vote for Duncan Hunter or Fred Thompson. They’re still on the ballot in Texas. Maybe I’ll go ahead and “throw my vote away.” Hunter’s Captain Underpants name is Sloopy Chuckledunkin and Thompson is Crusty Wafflebrain.

Update: I retook the test because I was holding the Gigglemeister the first time. My new results were: McCain, Clinton/Obama tie, Huckabee. All together, all grouped in the middle. Of course, while taking the test my kids were squabbling and we had a upchuck scare. (No upchuck, just the threat.) So I took it again to try for no, well minimal, distractions.

The THIRD time I took it my results were: Obama WAY up on the scale (ha!), a couple inches down was Huckabee, then right after Huckabee, Clinton and McCain tied, but no one very far down. Which I think reflects my general “meh” attitude toward the candidates. Interesting, no?

I personally think the 2nd time is closest to my opinions. Not necessarily the order, but the fact that I’m not real thrilled with any of the candidates, but I don’t despise any of them either.